Being Transparent

I married the kindest, honest, God-loving man 10 years ago.
I've given birth to three amazing, healthy, adorable boys.
I have the dog of my 'dreams'.
I may not live in the best, biggest house...
or drive the best, hottest mini van (LOL!)...
or go to Disney World every year...
BUT...

It is time for me. Period.

I've put my health on hold, so to speak. After giving birth to Anakin, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), had infertility problems, weigh problems (on top of my already bad eating habits) and depression.

I'm done having kids. It's time to face the facts that I am waaaaay overweight and my health, although good - my doctor even went as far as saying that "you are healthy", I feel like crap!

So, I did something about it.

I started looking at what I was eating and drinking. I know what's bad/good, but I was choosing to do what 'felt good' because it made me feel better. Whatever. That's not true. I was feeding my depression...making me feel even more depressed and eating more. I know that's insane, but so many of us do it!

So, I just stopped.

I stopped drinking Coke. I stopped using regular sugar (which I use Splenda when I drink/cook, but didn't watch what HAD sugar in it), we have almost stopped using Splenda and we're switching to Stevia and Isomalt. We're eating Soy products, more veggies (we were good about it, but now we're even better), eating FISH (I cooked and ate my first piece of fish last night - well, David grilled it, and it was amazing), watching butter and bread products closely. We're eating more organic, more whole foods...

We're changing. We're not perfect. We aren't trying to change anyone else...and yes, we'll still eat out, eat popcorn at the movies and take the kids to get donuts (I took Tristin and Paxtin this morning, I got coffee, they got the donuts and everyone was happy!) and good Lord above, we'll still get Tobin's pizza! Our favorite.

This week, without exercising (which will start this next week), I lost 4.2 lbs. Whooohoooo! I am ready for "me" to come back. To shed this extra person I've been carrying around for the past 4 years.

I am ready to show my kids the real Keela. They only know the Mom who is sad, tired and depressed. Well, that's not totally true. They see a happy, fun Mom too, just not as much as I'd like them to. KWIM? Also, I'm ready to face having to change the things I feed my kids. Anakin has always been interested in the info on the boxes of stuff he eats. As soon as he could read, he was reading them. The other day he asked for fishies (Goldfish Crackers) and wanted to fill a huge cup full. I got the scale out and we measured a serving size. He was SHOCKED! It was about 1/4 th of what he wanted! You know what...he was happy with the serving size. That's my goal now, is just to make them aware of what the size is and then go from there. I've already taken Pop Tarts away (on a daily basis) and the sugar filled snacks (you know, the stuff they grab whenever they are hungry - Ding Dongs, etc.) and they only have cheese crackers, fruit snacks (which will be switched to something else soon), Fishies, cheese sticks, apples and other fruit.

So, if you've made it this far through my post, thank you. ;) I'll be back with updates and more layouts soon. Have a great weekend!